How to make pornstar martinis | We built a garden bar

Think your parents are cool? I arrived home two weeks ago to find that mine have built a fully stocked bar in our back garden; wine fridge, wall mounted spirit dispensers, sound system and all. Goals or what? Currently wondering how much of a bar the property manager would allow us to build on our ten foot wide balcony… Read on for how to make pornstar martinis or coconut rum punch at home.

Anyone that follows me on Instagram will know that my parents love trying different spirits and experimenting with cocktail making; they definitely have more spirits than some pubs, which I am certainly not complaining about. Some would argue that you don’t need eleven variations of vodka but apparently the Grey Goose goes better with some mixers than the Chase vodka does, and Smirnoff is only used for cocktails… if only I had known that there are nicer vodkas than Glen’s out there when I was at uni hey. 

After playing around with logistical ideas, they settled on using a shed as the shell of the bar, with a large pull down hatch at the front to serve as a table for those (aka me) perched on the tall chairs outside. Under the ‘window’ inside is a counter to prepare drinks / garnishes on, with shelves, dispensers, cupboards and fridges on the back wall. My parents’ friend owns a bar so they’ve kindly been well equipped with wall mounted bottle openers, rubber bar mats, ice scoops and plastic cocktail glasses, making it really feel like an establishment you would normally be paying to drink in (Dad, please don’t start charging me for my consumptions though!). 

Obviously it would have been completely rude of me to not give the bar a thorough testing, self proclaimed queen of cocktails n all that. We tried coconut rum punches on holiday in Boston and my dad has done a great job of recreating those; and it wouldn’t be a visit home without one of my all time favourites, pornstar martinis. Drop me a tweet if you use either of the below recipes!

Coconut rum punch (for one)

50ml white rum 
50ml Bacardi coconut rum
75ml pineapple juice
75ml orange juice
Dash of angostura bitters

1. Chuck all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with some cubes of ice
2. Shake, shake, shake
3. Strain into a tall glass over fresh ice cubes

Pornstar martini (for one)

25ml vanilla vodka
25ml Passoa
15ml vanilla syrup
15ml lime juice
1 passion fruit per cocktail

1. Cut the passion fruit in half and scoop all of the seeds out to put in the cocktail shaker 
2. Muddle the passion fruit seeds with the vodka
3. Add Passoa, vanilla syrup, lime juice & ice cubes
4. Shake, shake, shake!
5. Strain into a martini glass, making sure there are no stray passion fruit seeds in there
6. Serve with a shot of prosecco on the side (or poured into the glass if you’d prefer)

My top tip is to make sure that you’re holding the top of the cocktail shaker when you start throwing it around and pretending you’re a cocktail waiter in a swanky bar. Last time we made pornstar martinis at home they contained edible glitter, and guess whose darling boyfriend sent that orange, glittery, sticky stuff flying all over our wooden floor? I was still catching bits of glitter when the sun shone in weeks later.

Let me know in the comments what your favourite cocktails are. Also, do you shot your prosecco or pour it into your pornstar martini….? 

Becca x