How to make pornstar martinis | We built a garden bar

Think your parents are cool? I arrived home two weeks ago to find that mine have built a fully stocked bar in our back garden; wine fridge, wall mounted spirit dispensers, sound system and all. Goals or what? Currently wondering how much of a bar the property manager would allow us to build on our ten foot wide balcony… Read on for how to make pornstar martinis or coconut rum punch at home.

Anyone that follows me on Instagram will know that my parents love trying different spirits and experimenting with cocktail making; they definitely have more spirits than some pubs, which I am certainly not complaining about. Some would argue that you don’t need eleven variations of vodka but apparently the Grey Goose goes better with some mixers than the Chase vodka does, and Smirnoff is only used for cocktails… if only I had known that there are nicer vodkas than Glen’s out there when I was at uni hey. 

After playing around with logistical ideas, they settled on using a shed as the shell of the bar, with a large pull down hatch at the front to serve as a table for those (aka me) perched on the tall chairs outside. Under the ‘window’ inside is a counter to prepare drinks / garnishes on, with shelves, dispensers, cupboards and fridges on the back wall. My parents’ friend owns a bar so they’ve kindly been well equipped with wall mounted bottle openers, rubber bar mats, ice scoops and plastic cocktail glasses, making it really feel like an establishment you would normally be paying to drink in (Dad, please don’t start charging me for my consumptions though!). 

Obviously it would have been completely rude of me to not give the bar a thorough testing, self proclaimed queen of cocktails n all that. We tried coconut rum punches on holiday in Boston and my dad has done a great job of recreating those; and it wouldn’t be a visit home without one of my all time favourites, pornstar martinis. Drop me a tweet if you use either of the below recipes!

Coconut rum punch (for one)

50ml white rum 
50ml Bacardi coconut rum
75ml pineapple juice
75ml orange juice
Dash of angostura bitters

1. Chuck all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with some cubes of ice
2. Shake, shake, shake
3. Strain into a tall glass over fresh ice cubes

Pornstar martini (for one)

25ml vanilla vodka
25ml Passoa
15ml vanilla syrup
15ml lime juice
1 passion fruit per cocktail

1. Cut the passion fruit in half and scoop all of the seeds out to put in the cocktail shaker 
2. Muddle the passion fruit seeds with the vodka
3. Add Passoa, vanilla syrup, lime juice & ice cubes
4. Shake, shake, shake!
5. Strain into a martini glass, making sure there are no stray passion fruit seeds in there
6. Serve with a shot of prosecco on the side (or poured into the glass if you’d prefer)

My top tip is to make sure that you’re holding the top of the cocktail shaker when you start throwing it around and pretending you’re a cocktail waiter in a swanky bar. Last time we made pornstar martinis at home they contained edible glitter, and guess whose darling boyfriend sent that orange, glittery, sticky stuff flying all over our wooden floor? I was still catching bits of glitter when the sun shone in weeks later.

Let me know in the comments what your favourite cocktails are. Also, do you shot your prosecco or pour it into your pornstar martini….? 

Becca x

I tried Primark nails…did they stay on? | Primark false nails review.

I, Becca Lois, am a nail addict. There, I said it. The longer and sparklier the better in my eyes. These are my all time favourite nails, to give you an insight into my nail choices; safe to say that I’m not the type to go for muted or ‘sensible’ colours. Since getting so many comments on my recent Instagram, today’s post is a Primark false nails review.

In the past three years or so there’s rarely been a time that I’ve had nothing on, and I just don’t feel ‘me’ with bare nails. That said, I’m not usually a fake nails person. I’ve had acrylics once and found that they ruined my natural nails, plus I didn’t like that I couldn’t remove them myself. I also hate normal nail varnish which I find chips after one day and just doesn’t look as ‘finished’ and shiny. Not wanting to spend £30 every few weeks on getting my nails gelled professionally, I bought a UV lamp and set of gel colours on Amazon so that I could do them myself, which I’ll post about imminently. 

However, there are occasions that you just don’t have the time to do your nails. Such as last week when I was out on Tuesday & Wednesday evening, had errands to do on Thursday evening then was away from Friday evening for a wedding. Or there are times when all your nails are at the perfect length, then of course one breaks super short and ruins the rest. And sod’s law is, they’re always going to be the times that you want your nails to look good. 

Which is where Primark’s false nails save the day! Even the smaller stores that I’ve been in have stocked tons of designs and there really is something for everyone: shapes range from shorter and square, stiletto, almond or coffin shapes, and there is every colour and pattern under the sun. They range from £1 for plain up to £4 for the more extravagant designs, so are a steal compared to even the branded DIY falsies in Boots or Superdrug, let alone having them done in a salon.

Source: Primark.com

How to apply Primark nails?

1. All instructions say to ensure that your nails are clean and without any residue on, however I wanted them on to cover bits of stubborn gel that I just couldn’t remove and they still stuck fine! Now’s the time to push your cuticles back also.
2. Cutting the top off the tube of glue is the hardest part; make sure that you have some strong scissors and cut around half way down the nozzle so that the glue can come out.
3. Then time to choose which falsies will fit which nail. My thumb nail is quite big and my little nail quite small so the range suits me fine, but I do think if you had all smaller or all larger nails then there wouldn’t be enough of a range included. 
4. The key to these sticking well is to put a dot of glue on your nail, as well as the back of the false one.
5. Press on, making sure that you’ve lined them up correctly on the first go, this glue sets quickly! I tend to line them up against my cuticle first then press them down from the bottom upwards.

How well do they stay on?

The longest I’ve had these on for is eight days, which were the below set over Christmas – they lasted perfectly through the festivities (aka a lot of prosecco uncorking and opening of chocolate wrappers). I always find that one or two ping off in the first couple of days and just need a bit more glue on them to keep them stuck. I keep the glue in my bag as they usually ping off while I’m doing something like getting dressed or rummaging in a bag so are easily found. 

How to remove them?

I usually feel when they start to get a bit wobbly (around the six day mark) and can slide a nail under one of the edges and ‘pop’ them off. Those that are a bit more stubborn I hold in a pot of gel polish remover for a few minutes and find that they slide right off. However, the set that I had on last week did not want to budge. Gel remover did nothing, so I ended up soaking them in acetone for around fifteen minutes each which melted the nails enough that I could then scrape the residue off. I don’t know if it was because I used too much glue, the formula has changed, or if it was because I’d only had them on for a couple of days. However I won’t let this put me off, as they were still easier to remove than gel polish.

Overall Primark false nails review?

Love love love! I’ve had people at work ask where I got them done so they must look semi-decent. Up close they don’t look as neat as salon done acrylics, although they probably would if you took the time to file them to your exact nail bed shape. And I wouldn’t trust wearing them on a week’s holiday unless I had back ups with me.

But as a quick fix for an event or night out? I highly recommend. Primark false nails review, over and out ✌🏻

Becca x

7 things that will surprise your boyfriend when you move in together

1. When you’ve covered every inch of your body from hairline to toes in half a bottle of St Moritz dark mousse. It’ll take him six months to stop laughing at you every single time you’ve fake tanned. At least.
   
   
2. That your hair moults like a dog and is EVERYWHERE. Nope, I don’t know how it does either; yes it drives me equally insane. And no, I don’t pull it out in handfuls to sprinkle over the carpet just to annoy you.
   
   
3. He’ll be even more freaked out when it’s one of your false eyelashes on the floor. Is it a bug? A spider? Nope, just one of my Girls With Attitude ultra fluttery strips that’s rudely made its way off my face and onto the carpet when I’ve crashed in at 3am.
   
   
4. That girls being hangry is a really real thing. Suddenly irrationally angry? Getting one word answers out of nowhere around dinnertime? Try shoving getting some food in her gob ASAP and chances are she might snap back to normality as quick as that mood came over.
   
   
5. How many clothes/shoes/bags/general things you have. Even if you really definitely don’t have that many. Thing is, they don’t remember what you’ve got, so wear something that you’ve had for ages but not worn in a couple of months? They’ll think it’s new and accuse you of shopping again.
   
   
6. Similarly how many toiletries a girl needs. Yes, needs. Gone are the days of just shower gel, shampoo & conditioner standing on the side of the bath. Bathroom cabinets will be overflowing with various moisturisers, body moisturisers, bubble baths and hairsprays. They’ll moan that your bathroom has turned into a mini Holland & Barrett. But they’ll be grateful when they’ve got a stomach ache and you’ve got something other than paracetamol to offer.
   
   
7. Just how quickly you can fall asleep after taking ages to choose a film. May as well not have any discussion and let him pick what he wants, as chances are you’ll be snoring ten minutes in.

So there are my seven things that surprised my boyfriend when we moved in together (he STILL laughs at me when I’ve fake tanned); if you’ve moved in with a partner let me know below what took you by surprise!

Becca x

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